"Daddy, Can I Watch TV?"

"Daddy, can I watch TV?" Rarely does a day go by when I don't hear this question a dozen times. Despite established routines, almost every evening, a war is waged for the mind of my eight year old son.

“I’m done playing outside.” He tells me. “Oh, really, your scooter is still out,” I boldly assert even though I have not checked. He swivels around quickly and plays for another 15 minutes outside. The early dusk of fall arrives and he comes back inside. “Wash your hands!” I call out just as the door closes.

The sound of the bathroom fan turning off signals my next strategic move. I ask, "Have you finished putting away your Legos in your room?" "It wasn't me who took them out!" he replies. I remind him, "They are your Legos and they are in the middle of the floor." And then after a few minutes, "Daddy, I picked them up, can we watch TV now?”

I ask, "How long have you read today?" After a squirm and a twist, he replies that he doesn’t know. “Go get your book and bring it here,” I tell him. “Which book?” he asks. “If you don’t know which book you are reading, then that’s a problem!” He returns with a Rescue Heroes hard board book that was his favorite a few years ago. “Is this really what you are reading now?” I question. “No, but I want to read it!” he giggles. He reads it to me, and we both laugh at the plastic mechanical arm scooper that saves the life of a buried bear. He cuddles up with me on the couch and he reads to me a book that I used to read to him. We move on to a book that is in his reading range. After a while, he asks “Daddy, can we watch Renovation Nation now?”

My reply, as you can imagine, is a continuation of the stall tactic. “Have you brushed your teeth?” He groans and knows that I will smell his breath if he says “Yes.” After brushing, he asks again. I reply, “Benjamin, we haven’t practiced your math facts today.” “Okay, ask me anything!” he says confidently, hoping that I’ll start with the facts that I know he has memorized. “Six times eleven?” “HA! That’s so easy! 66!” he responds enthusiastically. “This one is really tough, are you ready? (and of course, I still want to build some success, so I’m not giving him the ones I know that he doesn’t know) “Five times seven.” He starts to use his fingers….and half-guesses “Thirty five?” He tentatively answers.

Here are a few more activities that my wife and I may include in an evening:
On a grocery run, we compare the weight/cost value of two items.
Harvest a few peppers or tomatoes from our little garden.
They each read a daily “devotion” from a children’s book.
Discuss measurements and nutrition while preparing dinner with the kids.
We are restoring an old lawn tractor, discussing facts like rust, combustion and the next wrench size needed.
They each practice the piano every night.

In our house this is how the classic struggle of good verses evil is played out. If we let our kids just sit and watch TV or play games on the computer, the evening is wasted. There is no more positive interaction. Toys are left in a mess, time vanishes, their minds are wasted, and for me an opportunity would have been missed to be a daddy. The teenage years are just around the corner- I’m already tired- but I must battle on!